The turning point came when I learned the man I had agreed to have an exclusive dating situation with had cheated on me.That devastation made me see I wanted to be with a man I could trust with my heart and who would cherish me. The signs below are for people who truly want to marry for the right reasons.My mom always tells me, “When your head, your heart and your gut are all aligned then it’s right, and not until then.” Aren’t moms great? It shows you care, and the commitment is important. I had some doubts and even wondered if I was making the right choice, but when I said, “I do,” I meant it.Being married is a commitment that should not be taken lightly. I actually told him that I would not meet him at the altar if I had any doubts that were unaddressed.You may be tempted to use it against each other later, which leads to bigger problems. If you cannot say it, you may be destined for divorce if you decide to marry anyway. I knew I was ready to be married when I could easily say, “I’m sorry for being a jerk.” Think again if you believe apologizing gives away your powerit’s quite the opposite. It was time, and I could authentically give my word to him. I could yell from the rooftop that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, I could build a life with him, and I wanted him all to myself.Clearing up issues can be fast and easy if you have a set of tools that works for both of you. Things will get under your skin or hit a nerve sometimes. Being attached to being right only causes distance and friction, the opposite of the love, affection and fun that you truly desire. If you can identify these signs for yourself as you’re considering tying the knot, you are on a wonderful path to marrying the right person for you. Being confident that you feel ready for this lifelong commitment will give you an excellent chance of living happily ever after with a partner.
And that’s because I’ve been in situations where it became all too clear, all too late, that my beau and I weren’t on the same page.
We had many long, deep conversations before we walked down the aisle.
Honestly, I wasn’t nervous at all on the day of my wedding.
The biggest issue: I’m ready to move forward, and he’s not. So, on behalf of female confusion across the world, I sat down with Paul Maxwell, a twentysomething single guy, to get some male insight into this whole “readiness” problem.
Most of my girlfriends know exactly what I’m talking about. These are guys who have been genuinely attentive and caring. How does everything change one day when he decides he’s just not ready to be with her? Me: So many guys I’ve talked to tell me they’re not ready for a relationship. Paul: “I’m not ready” is a guy’s way of saying one of two things: (1) “We’re moving at different paces, and I need you to allow me to move at my own pace,” or (2) “I’m just not that into you, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”If a man senses that you are more “into it” than he is or that you are eager for the relationship to move forward at a quicker pace, he may feel as though the relationship poses a constant ultimatum: “Move at my pace, or stop wasting my time.” Women often speak this way, sometimes putting men in two categories: men who do what they want, and men who aren’t worth their time. It may also be the case that the man you are getting to know is looking for something physical or even something emotional (whether he admits it to himself or not) but is not ready for the commitment that kind of relationship with the opposite sex involves.
You may still be nervous, but deep down you recognize that you are well-equipped for the adventure of marriage.