Of course you can always tell an alcoholic but you can't tell them much, and I've yet to see one get out of a relationship because it was suggested to (especially if it was suggested Before they got into it in the first place) so I guess you'll take what ever you get out of this thread (that doesn't validate your decision lol) and use it next time. But luckily I got to a point where "I was willing to do whatever it takes to get sober".
I finally did my 90/90 and stayed out of relationships the first year, which continued on for 3.5 years.
It took me well over a year for me to really start to see things with a clearer head.
I was also reminded that most who come into AA don't make it a year.
I am in a position of strength now because I get to choose who I want in my life and let them prove to me if they are worth it more than me just latching on to someone cuz I thought I had to have a relationship. I look way better, am much more stable, and am way more capable of attracting better looking and saner people at 38 and sober 2 years than I was at 36 and sober 2 months.
Mark Like Happycamper said, the "no life changing decisions" thing doesn't come from AA. I know what I was like my first year, and can't even begin to imagine making life changing decisions with my head still in the fog.
I have heard tho many times that it is recommended that new ppl dont make any major changes early in sobriety. This is not an official recommendation of Alcoholics Anonymous as far as I know.
One of our major goals to achieve long term sobriety is emotional stability, If you are like me and most of us at 2 mos, you haven't worked the steps and have never really focused on the problem which is "us".
Early on we have very little to offer another person until we can work on our defects and clear away wreckage of the past, and learn to love ourselves first.
My sponsor tells me often, it takes 5 years for us to get our heads out of our a**es and another 5 years to learn to be comfortable in our sobriety.
He may or may not be right, but he HASN'T lied to me yet, so why should I question him on this one?
Then I had another string of false starts and now I just don't care that much.