To choose a friend based entirely off of their appearance, to me, seems like an unwise investment of your time and energy.
Why would anyone subject themselves to this sort of criticism?
While this reaction is nothing if not common in a military relationship, it can be difficult to know how to handle these uncertain feelings when you’re new to this kind of romance. Sharon Budd, an adolescent psychologist, recommends to assess the communication situation. Write letters, send care packages, and phone as often as possible.
It’s easy to feel alone and lacking control when your partner has been called away. While it might seem counterintuitive, try not to tell your partner that you’re miserable that they’re gone. Neither one of you has any control over that now, you can’t change this situation.
I was raised in a different time, however, when we were taught that looks are only skin deep and fade with time.
I couldn’t care less what my friends look like, as long as we have interests in common and they will be there for me if I ever need them to be.Instead, focus on all the good that’s going on and any new hobbies you’ve taken up.Tell them you miss them, but that you’re proud they’re away doing what they’re doing. Reaching out to friends and loved ones is another great way of coping with a boyfriend or girlfriend’s deployment, especially if you know someone who is going through the same situation. Budd recommends that you take time not only for yourself, but for social activities.It was when I was writing my first letter to him that it hit me. Our goodbye had been heartfelt, and I cried when I saw him pull out of my driveway in this car, but I soon realized that it didn’t hit me at that point. Did he want me to tell him what all of his friends are up to back at home? All of those things, I imagined, would only make him more upset. Armed Forces, and I wasn’t going to see him for…well, that was the hardest part, I didn’t even know when I’d see him next.
Withdrawal and isolation are all too common, and while you may need time to recharge, the risk of becoming too reclusive is something that you should be wary of.